I don't even need to tell you that the holidays are a crazy time of year, and although there are many pressures put on us by life as we get down to time's socially-constructed wire at the bottom of every year, there is perhaps no greater stress for me than gift-giving.
Now, let me preface this by saying I love gift-giving. Even before I got my first high school job as a cashier at the local grocery store, I had a genuine hankering for saving up all my pennies to buy my family a desktop marble bowling game at the Scholastic Book Fair:
But there are problems with being a chronic gift-giver. The biggest problem for me is outdoing myself every year, and so, 15 years after buying my first Christmas presents for friends and family, I am completely, hopelessly, out of ideas. (To my best friend, Natalie, if you're reading this: I'm sorry for buying you hot sauce sampler gift sets for five years straight, you were a real champ about it.)
I also tend to run a bit on the scatterbrained side, if that wasn't already apparent from reading my writing. I tend to be walking through a store in, oh, I don't know--say mid-September--when I see something my friend would like, panic buy it, and then it sits on my shelf for three months until I give it to them, during which time I find out that a) they already have it, b) they already have it because I gave it to them last year, c) there's now a cheaper and nicer version of the item available, d) it is a decent gift but doesn't really have any cohesive thought or purpose behind it, and/or e) I picked up 8 popcorn-related gifts for my mother throughout the year but nothing for anybody else, and now my gift-giving is lopsided.
If this sounds like you, fear no more! Because this year, out of frustration and desperation, I have boiled down and salted to taste my philosophy for perfect gift-giving (mostly for adults and older kids). It's probably something you could have come up with yourself or Googled years ago, but in case you've got gifter's block that BuzzFeed DIY articles won't cure, I've got your back.
Cross-border shopping
Cross-border shopping is inherently difficult, more so for Canadians buying in America than the other way around, but still troublesome.
Now, I get a little annoyed when people on either side of the border say "the selection in Canada sucks" and cross their arms and pout, because, being one of the wealthiest, most developed countries in the world, Canada isn't hurting for any consumer goods, and you won't (usually) find many Canadians groveling.
In fact, had I not grown up in the United States, I probably wouldn't notice that much of a difference on the store shelves. Just going about your daily life, buying your groceries and toiletries and clothes, you just don't think about "wow, where are other brands of paper plates I normally buy?" because, well, who cares?
But when it comes to Christmas, things get a little more personalized, a little more speciality, and therefore, a little more dicey. Looking for your buddy's favorite craft beer? Yeah...nobody here has ever heard of it. Oh, you want the Target exclusive bonus track on Taylor Swift's Midnights album? Sorry girlie, Tay Tay doesn't care about Canucks.
Now you might say "But you can just order it online, right?" Technically yes. But see, American shopping websites are sometimes extremely hostile to non-American customers, and prohibitively so. They're clunky and buggy, they don't offer the same selection, they won't even let you put an order in because their poorly-coded text box only takes ZIP codes, or you get all the way to the end and they either don't even offer Canadian shipping, or they do, for a small $60 fee and a six-week wait. Oh, and they make you go to the FedEx store to sign for it and pay even more money in import tax. Yeah, I'll take a rain-check on that personalized Yankee Candle next time (this really happened).
There are lots of reasons for this, from distribution costs (Canada is a big, cold, sparse country, where it's expensive to deliver things) to the government's strict legal requirements and high taxes on imported goods (my Funko Pop BETTER have French on the back), to just general lack of appetite, literally.
There are some tips and tricks I use to get around these annoyances, which I'll post about in the future, but none of them match up to the ultimate solution: shopping small, supporting local businesses, and not being tempted to pony up and play the Americans' games just to get a jar of Skippy peanut butter because it's what is familiar to you.
International brands: What you see vs. What you get
The other night, I was at my American apartment, enjoying a few adult beverages, and had a craving, as most Americans who've had a few adult beverages do, for a late night pizza from our old friend Domino's. When I opened the Domino's app, though, I was unable to order, because I was greeted by this message: These are the first-world problems no immigration consultant can prepare you for: American apps don't work on Canadian phones. :/ |
All of this to say, the stores are here, but offer sometimes different products, different deals, and different shipping options. And no, you usually can't use your account from one on the other. In addition to my other expenses, I now pay for two Prime memberships every year, to get the American selection when I need something that isn't available here, and Canadian prices without import tax when I need that. Hail Bezos, I guess.
The good, the bad, and the stingy
Sales in general are a little tougher to come by, which I think is why every Canadian I've ever met has had a Costco membership. The data on this was hard to find to back me up, but if my calculations are right, 67 million American households are Costco members (20% of the population), compared to 10 million Canadians (27%). I found these both to be shockingly high numbers, I guess not realizing the appetite for bulk-buying in both countries. But I find the higher per capita membership in Canada makes sense, since the high cost of living has a lot of people, even if they're not in large homes or buying for a lot of people, buying things like toilet paper by the 48-pack rather than by the 6-pack, and dish soap by 2-liter jug rather than the 18-ounce bottle.
But because of this, I've also found that if you don't like crowds, you don't want to do your shopping, Christmas or otherwise, in-person at any Costco in Ontario or Quebec, because it is chaos. Remember those horrible videos from the 2000s of people storming Walmarts on Black Friday to get TVs? Yeah, that's a Wednesday afternoon at Costco here. Lines are regularly wrapped around the building, and this was after Covid precautions were lifted. I can't say I blame them, though, since prices on every day staples at the "regular" grocery store are sometimes that much more absurd. If you remember my last post, I discussed how stores who use discounts as their whole shtick have really taken off here, and are quite in fashion.
Final thoughts
I realize as much as anybody the true reason for the season, and I want to put that out there before everybody goes labeling me as materialistic. For future holidays, I want to get into the nitty gritty of holiday traditions and all that fun stuff. But for now, as Syd and I are between houses, between countries, and between stages of our lives, we are focusing a lot this year on what we have to give to others.
I have found shopping to be one of the biggest adjustments I've had to make between countries, and that's why it's become such a focus of my posts recently (incoming: a shopping quick guide for Americans). In the US, I've found that shopping is about quantity over quality: everything is "on sale" all the time, often times months before it needs to be (there are stores in New York already discounting Valentine's Day items), there are overwhelming choices (why does there need to be 17 varieties of Oreo?), many of which are limited edition or limited stock and you only get to see them once, and shopping is an experience of buying whatever, whenever, whether or not it later goes to waste. Inflation affects prices and whether or not people complain about them, but it doesn't always influence our behaviors about shopping.
By contrast, Canadian shopping is quality over quantity. There may be less selection overall, but it allows people (or at least me) to price compare and shop more thoughtfully and frugally, without having to read eight ads or websites, and sift through every different brand and price out the quantities, and impulsively buy something because I'm worried it will disappear off shelves or spike in price. Shopping here does make me miss some things sometimes, but if I miss something enough, I pay the premium for the imported product (or just drive and go get it myself). Less sales, liquidations, and marketing schemes means a more consistent and reliable product selection, even if a more expensive one. Overall, I find it less stressful on me, even if it's a little more stress on the wallet.
To get the best of both shopping worlds, I carefully curate my online accounts so that I have accounts at American and Canadian Walmart, Amazon, Costco, Best Buy, and a few others, as well as several retailers that are only available in one place (Wegmans, Kohl's, and Target in the States, Giant Tiger, Indigo, and Canadian Tire in Canada). I'll share in the future what I buy on each. Lucky you!
P.S. If you still have one in your area, stop sleeping on JCPenney. They're making a comeback.
Bonus: My perfect gift tips
In those four years, I bought them everything I thought they needed and liked. I am completely out of ideas. What is a boy to do? Well, I've designed a system that works for me to get over gift-giver's block without breaking the bank. I find it quite useful, and hopefully you will too. Some of these might be common sense rules you use already, but in case they're not, you're welcome.
Here are the rules for good gift-giving for your immediate family:
- Get each person the same amount of gifts, and the same budget. I have a relatively small family, so I decided on 10 presents for each person, totaling $200 or less. You can adjust these to work for you. These next rules are based on this budget rule.
- 2 gifts should be edible. It's easy and delicious. One of the easiest things to learn about somebody is what they like to eat. Pick up on what they like and don't like when going out for a meal or just at home and get them either two of the same thing, or one of each, or one thing that goes with the other.
- 1 gift should be a gift card or monetary. Personally, I love gift cards. I understand that they've gone out of vogue in some circles, and some people find them not thoughtful, but if you do it right, a gift card can be a useful gift. Try to pay attention to what stores, restaurants, or coffee shops your friends or family goes to throughout the year. Most local places will do gift certificates upon request, even if it's not a normal request for them. If nothing else, the younger generation seems to be preferring cash nowadays, which is always a nice surprise to put in your card. (Two-countries tip: try to stay away from buying U.S. gift cards for your Canadian family, and vice/versa. Even if we have the store, they often have rules that prevent the gift cards from the other country from being used.)
- 1 gift should be something they asked for/based on a personal interest or hobby. This should go without saying, but if you don't know what your recipient does for fun, at least once in awhile, maybe it's time to...ask them...or spend a little time with them. It doesn't have to be something big, or even something specific. It could be something adjacent to the hobby. For example, my father is an avid outdoorsman. It is sometimes a challenge because he already owns every piece of hunting and fishing gear under the sun, but I've gotten creative by getting him something somewhat relevant. Last year was a subscription to a fishing magazine.
- 1 gift can be a limited edition or Christmas-related gift. Chances are, if your recipient hates Christmas, they probably don't want a gift in the first place. Conversely, if they are expecting a gift, they probably like Christmas, at least a little bit. That means, take advantage of the only time to buy Christmas goodies! You probably won't be able to avoid it anyway. So who cares? Go for that Santa Claus-shaped bottle of popcorn salt, or that laptop sleeve with the reindeer design on it. Be festive while you can.
- Duplicate as needed. Congrats! You've followed the fool-proof formula and before you know it, you now have five presents for your loved one. Depending on your budget, you can easily repeat this pattern as desired (as I did), and you have a great variety of that gifts for that person you once thought was un-giftable.
With that, my questions for you all: what Christmas shopping traditions do you think are unique to your country? What is your experience working with retailers based in other locations? What perfect gift tips do you have to share with me!?